| Dear Carolyn: My teenage children have been adamant that they don’t want to socialize with our elderly family friend because of his politics. They have never been impolite to him and have accepted his gifts graciously and visited him when they could — including when he was ill. Yet at home, they have said they don’t want him in their lives and judge him wholly on how he voted in the last election. I don’t like their attitude. I want to raise children who are steadfast in their beliefs without passing judgment. Other people in their lives have similar politics, and they did not ostracize them. Now he has died, and I am grieving. He doted on them their entire lives and never wanted anything in return. He was wise and generous. Yes, he had different political views than I and my family. I chose to look past that and try to find common ground. How can I teach my children to be more gracious? I believe it is folly to stew in anger over political views — even those views I find hateful. I don’t believe he was a hateful person, though I did not agree with all his views. He and I discussed this openly and chose to remain friends. I am proud of my children in so many ways. When they turned against their neighbor, they disappointed me. I feel I have failed. How can I teach them to be better? — Grieving and Disappointed Mom | 
