| Dear Carolyn: My husband and I named our daughter “Jane,” after school counselor “Miss Jane,” who saved me daily in small ways from my alcoholic, abusive parents. I told my husband early on that if we had a daughter, I wanted her to be named Jane. He has always been supportive. My father-in-law has let it be known that he hates the name. He grew up with a Jane and hates her to this day. He brings up stories about the horrible Jane repeatedly. Jane is 18 months old, and the stories haven’t stopped. My husband told him to stop, and now my father-in-law does not tell these stupid stories or reference horrible Jane in his presence. Just mine. When he calls to our daughter, he does so with this taunting tone, as if he were calling the horrible Jane from his childhood. My father-in-law still works a full-time job, golfs regularly and jogs. He is not elderly in any way. This can’t be blamed on his being old. My daughter doesn’t need to be low-key bullied by her grandfather each time her name is called. My husband contends this will go away if we ignore it, and I disagree. I don’t know how to go about this without an ultimatum. I will no longer allow our daughter to be in his presence if he can’t change. Either my husband speaks to him or I do. Is that okay? Or is there another way to go about it? Other than this name thing, my father-in-law is loving to our daughter, and she squeals with joy when she sees him. — O.M.G. Send Carolyn a voice memo Carolyn will be joining our flagship podcast Post Reports for a holiday-themed episode later this month. Have a question about how to handle this upcoming season? Ask your question by recording a voice memo (no more than 30 seconds) and sending it to postreports@washpost.com. Carolyn may play your question and answer it during the episode. | 
