| Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Jan. 16, 2012, and was adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: When is it okay to ask a partner to change a behavior to make you happy, and when does it cross a line? My partner and I are discussing this honestly and caringly because we have some differences in how we prefer to be treated, and while we both want to make each other happy, we aren’t sure of the line between compromise and changing our “selves” (whatever that is!). — Communicating |