Did sister with food issues leave therapy too soon? Dear Carolyn: My sister “Eileen” started having weight issues as a child. Our mom emphasized healthy eating and exercise, but our dad always had tons of sweets and junk food at his house. Eileen would overindulge when we were there and packed on the pounds. She tried lots of diets over the years, but nothing worked until she got into a behavior modification program three years ago. She lost weight and looks and feels better. I’m happy for her, but I’m concerned that she left therapy too soon. She still doesn’t have a normal approach to food. She’s very rigid, not only about eating but exercise. Our mom needed help getting ready for a family reunion, so I asked Eileen to go over with me at 10 a.m. She said she couldn’t because she goes to the gym at that time. I asked her to switch the time or skip it just once, and she said absolutely not. She’s done that before, not missing a single workout no matter the reason. Later at the reunion, Eileen was wrapping up a piece of a special family dessert. I asked her why she didn’t eat it there, and she said she only eats dessert on Sunday. Later I asked Eileen if she left therapy too soon since she still carries so much anxiety about food and gaining weight. She went off on me, saying it was too bad she wasn’t fixed enough for me, but she wasn’t going to stay in therapy forever so I can be happy she’s “normal.” I didn’t say or mean that, but she was so over-the-top angry that I apologized and dropped it. I’m still wondering, though, doesn’t that reaction tell you something? Does she need more therapy? — Sibling Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. |